Joe Biden Learns That He Picked Kamala Harris
Presumptive former Vice President Joe Biden stated that he was surprised and delighted to learn that he had picked Kamala Harris as his running mate. At a virtual gathering in the meeting room of his imagination, Biden said, “C’mon man! We are talking about a woman who is going to be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and for all I know that may have been that last heartbeat right there. I thought for sure it was going to be that Cherokee woman but it turns out to be this chick. I don’t remember who she is but as long as she smells good, I’m all for it.” A former president tweeted, “Biden nailed it!” and then former San Francisco Mayor Willy Brown tweeted a correction stating “No, that was me.”
Harris happily accepted the vice presidency spot and stated, “I’m absolutely delighted to become, let’s face it, the next President of the United States and I pledge to you, I will say anything I have to and to state whatever my personal beliefs need to be. I am proud to stand next to a man that I accused of sexual harassment and bigotry, just as I would be proud to stand next to a cinder block, as long as it has that dumbfounded look on it’s face so that I could be reminded that it will keel over as soon as it takes office.” Harris then climbed onto a cylindrical gas tank and shouted, “I’m on top of the world Ma!” before exploding in a fiery ball of her own ambition.
The New York Times, a former newspaper, said the speech was pragmatic and moderate and that the special effects were stupendous