The news media and other crime supporters are singing the praises of the Biden campaign for its brilliant strategy of counter-programming over the Republican Convention with democrat riots and looting. NBC’s Chuck Todd, in an interview with a life-size cardboard cutout of himself, said “Republicans have debased themselves with calls for absurd patriotic unity, programs for garish prosperity and a foreign policy selfishly designed for the United States before any else. It is a stroke of genius for democrats to balance it out with highly celebrated images of people’s businesses going up in flames in the name of social justice. Who on earth can remain uninspired by the great cause of destroying everything that anyone has ever built in order to create a Utopia which was thought out while playing Fortnight in their parent’s basement?”
Joe Biden’s campaign manager, Norman Propapuppet, says he invented the democrat strategy while playing Fortnight in his parent’s basement. In a statement released to the berserker of a sub-class soldier with a hot body skin that Norman dreams would one day be his, the manager is quoted as saying “Everyone knows that Orange man is bad, so we want to create a contrast with him by having a candidate that will hide in the cellar, talk gibberish and tacitly support the destruction of America’s cities. I have been tracking the news media between spawns and they are loving it so I figure I can get a CNN gig for sure if Joe dies which could be any minute. I mean, just look at him.”
Joe says that he has been monitoring the Republican Convention himself, and slipped a note under the cellar door reading “Who’s that big Orange guy, he is very scary and I hope I don’t have to talk to him to get to be president, can I resign now?” Biden plans to make an announcement later this week that he would be willing to have Nancy Pelosi debate about having a debate, without having a debate about issues but instead, having issues about having a debate. He has been told to believe that issues can debate themselves and don’t need presidential candidates clouding the dialogue since dialogue is now beyond his mental capacity. He also plans to have a televised announcement shortly after the Republican Convention wraps up in order to let his followers know that one particular stain on the splash board of his cellar wall really looks like Magneto from the X-Men movies and that children like to rub the hair on his legs