Wuhan Flu and You
Some people are calling for the WHO to be renamed the WTF after the highly respected un-organization of sleazy international grifters released a report on the Wuhan Flu that seemed to have been influenced by China. The report, which came packaged in small white cardboard containers and included free fortune cookies, declared that the Wu Flu, or as it sometimes called the Kung Flu, or the Flu Manchu with the yellow peril, or the Disney Plus Communist Party Flu, had nothing whatsoever to do with the Chinese, except for being named after them. and caused by them. and spread by them. while they lied about it. Instead, the WHO which stands for “Whoa Hey Oh my lord, are we ever dishonest!” concluded that the disease got its start after being born on a flower in the form of a glittering sprite, then leaping onto the back of a pig which accidentally transmitted it to a bat which then flew in the window of a Chinese lab and escaped from a test tube labeled “Biological Warfare” after a totally innocent communist party official accidentally sat down on a red button marked “Release death onto the Americans” and destroyed the west forever. The official was sharply reprimanded before being promoted to the position of chief dealer of disease upon the west through chemical means or as it's called in the original Chinese “Mushu Pork” so you might want to rethink that take out order.
The director of the WHO, Dr. Tedros, which in Ethiopian means “Man who takes bribes then lies”, said he did not want the report to be too critical about the Chinese because he feared that would cause more black people to beat up Asians for opening stores in their neighborhoods. When told that explanation made no sense, Dr. Tedros agreed and said that for enough money he would come up with another one. American officials criticized the dishonest WHO report for being even more dishonest than the American officials who were criticizing the report, which many had thought would be impossible, or at least set a new record for dishonesty. For instance, the WHO investigators failed to question many important Chinese officials who were involved in the spread of the virus including Lopan, who mixed the virus in his laboratory while laughing maniacally. Sunlock who released the virus while crying, “Fly! Fly you deadly germs and erase the civilization of the Americans!” and of course Dr. Julius Know, who planned to use his mechanical hands to build a radio jammer that would disrupt the mercury launch from cape Canaveral but was foiled when a much younger Sean Connery blew up his underground lair.
A WHO spokesman said the organization would correct those oversights and would interview all these individuals, or at least ask congressman Eric Swalwell if he had learned anything about them from the Chinese spy he was shagging.